Workshopsexuality. Part III
At the Institute for Cultural Inquiry in Berlin in 2021, there was a conference called "The Workshop - Investigations Into an Artistic-Political Format", the contents of which are wonderfully illuminating for the inherent logic of sex-positive workshops and their influence on a certain understanding of sexuality. Presentations were dedicated to all the beautiful promises of workshop culture: solution-oriented cooperation, solidarity and supportive sharing of resources and knowledge, crazy possibilities of consciousness-expanding experiences through meditation exercises, psychological self-observation techniques, improvisation or organ experiments... According to the conference description, workshops are considered an "optimally connectable and almost universally applicable setup for collective undertakings". This makes sex something that doesn't have to happen so enigmatically behind private bedroom doors. People can generously look, copy, ask, help and experience things that are not even logistically possible in the private bedroom because workshops simply bring together more human resources.
Workshop sexuality therefore has a disenchanting effect in both the best and worst sense. A direct comparison shows that others also only boil with water. And that intimacy can somehow be experienced in a companionable way, i.e. it doesn't have to be so loaded with the symbolic weight of meaning surrounding romance or drama. This lightness is a blessing and an escape from fossilized patterns. But sometimes it also makes things soberingly technical or trivial. It's as if a bright light has been switched on in the bedroom. At last! But also: Oops! Or even: Urghs! And: Uah! Some things can no longer be done unseen and it can give the impression that by illuminating (one's own) sexuality, it also goes down the drain in a way. After all, what you observe changes because you observe it. Then, despite knowing better, you may wish for the simplicity of past times without self-monitoring.
If we stick with the metaphor of light, then desire and arousal in dim candlelight sexualities tend to follow the principle of suggestion and innuendo, exclusivity and privacy, as well as playing with the forbidden. Workshop sexualities can hardly offer or even tolerate these forms of seduction or stimulation because they are about transparent communication in a group setting based on trust and responsibility. Turn-ons tend to be triggered here by overcoming ambiguities, creating clarity and closing previous gaps in knowledge. Myths give way to facts and the previously unsettling unknown becomes more accessible and manageable. "I wasn't sure whether she wanted to do the massage exchange with me, but in the Authentic Relating exercise for direct communication, she not only explicitly said yes, but also gave me tips on her no-go's, which in turn helps me to feel less awkward. Awesome!"
Because workshops bring together many people who were strangers a short time ago but then experience something unusual together, open up to each other, meet and bond with each other in their vulnerabilities and enthusiasm, a warm, almost utopian feeling of community can arise. What is possible! That's the good life! Tribe! Community! Pack!
And then it's over. And if there is no longer a shared commitment, nothing really holds you together anymore. Full of hope, you create an email list or a Telegram chat. The next day you feel like you have a hangover, but the chat offers comfort. After a few days, however, it already feels like spam. Who are these people?
A pretty, shimmering bubble - burst. In hindsight, you realize that the experiences were so touching because they took place in this closed bubble, which is difficult to reconstruct in everyday life. >> By the way, a zine on our blog points out how to deal with post-workshop depression.
The intimate interactions of the participants differ from relationships and sexualities in which people want to make a long-term commitment to each other. And the fact that the workshop feels warm and connected so quickly is of course intentional on the part of the organizers and designed accordingly. You could also say: simulated - but that doesn't make the experience any less real or valuable! If you have the highly stylized nature of workshop formats on your radar, this is precisely where the special potential can be drawn from. False expectations, projections, disappointments, confusion and frustration can also be avoided.
Last but not least, the whole thing is also an economic endeavor. Workshop sexuality is therefore related to sex work sexuality. The workshop participants pay for their experience. The facilitators do a paid service job, make an effort, prepare content. All of this has an impact on the attitude with which all participants approach the matter. It can be assumed that everyone is here voluntarily, for their own pleasure, because they are generally interested in the workshop topic and want to experience what is on offer. Of course, participants also bring hesitant, skeptical, recalcitrant aspects with them and of course there is always the option to pause, drop out or cancel. However, there is generally an atmosphere of willingness and readiness in workshops. This naturally influences the interactions, for example when more people suddenly get involved in exercises with you. And one reason for this is money. All the more so when a mindset sets in that what you have paid money for and kept a whole weekend free must be worthwhile.
Another effect of this is that only those who can afford it take part and that those who can afford it can sometimes develop a consumer attitude with a low tolerance threshold for discomfort. These are the participants who don't want to make a big effort and expect special service if they pay a lot.
All of this has an effect and cannot be expected in this form from those involved in workshopexternal love life.
It needs another part IV - coming soon...
