Somatic Disembodiment – Or: How do I figure out what I want (and that it’s actually what I don’t want)? Or: My favorite workshops are the ones that turn workshops upside down
“We’ll begin with a brief meditation in which we reflect on states of mind that are not focused on pleasure and satisfaction. Our aim is to reflect on the nature of desire and ask whether our desire has far more to do with self-denial than with self-fulfillment.”
There it is! The note I was looking for…
On the "tradition" of Tantra massage (OR Eva puts it best)
When we first launched our retreat “Tantra with a pinch of salt” and posted it on Facebook (because back then, the way to announce you’d started something was to create a Facebook event), a neighbor messaged me saying:
“You know this isn’t real tantra, don’t you?”…
My First Time
This account was written by a participant following the FLINTA* orgy at Ewaldshof. “I was immediately curious when I heard about it. And of course, I felt a certain amount of hesitation: What will I encounter? What will be expected of me? How open am I really? How much physical intimacy can I even allow with people I don’t know? How much nudity, for that matter? Am I actually totally uptight? Am I slowly getting too old for this kind of thing?”
I'm sorry about the sex
Pamela Russmann: The myGiulia theme for August is “What a feeling.” What feeling do you associate with sex? Beate Absalon:
In English, I would say “anticipation,” which in German is unfortunately usually translated as “Vorfreude.” But in the English sense of this spellbound state of expectation, both can exist at the same time: joy and fear. And what I like about the word “anticipation” is that it refers to a state that hasn’t happened yet. I associate that with sex, too—this eternal circling around something that somehow can’t quite be grasped.
Ingestion, Digestion, and Kokoreç
“Trains pulled by steam locomotives moved ceaselessly in and out of the main hall, which served as a vessel for these mighty machines—a kind of mechanical coitus,” says Eva Fàbregas in an interview about the exhibition. Into this industrial monument known as the Hamburger Bahnhof, which the artist envisions as a “giant mouth” or “womb,” she has placed something organic, something amorphous—which is a contradiction, for nothing here is shapeless or formless. The focus on the physical is unmistakable: everywhere, tubers, ball-shaped tubes, and chains of balloons, winding forms in elastic fabric. Construction foam? Pollen? Marshmallows? Like snot and slime, the mustard-yellow, pink, and lilac Lycra sacks hang from the ceiling, winding around steel beams and reaching out at me with nubby tentacles. A museum employee remarks that one visitor is eaten and digested every day.
"I do wonder: Why do I make people up?"
Jade gently picks up a pink silicone cake mold shaped like a hemisphere of the brain. Inside is a thin white layer, which Jade carefully scrapes out and collects in a small bottle. Then we turn on the microphone and ask what Jade is doing and why :) With this audio series, we’d like to introduce you to people you can learn from when it comes to the question: What do you actually do in a playspace? Because they come with many challenges. How do I connect with people? What should I pack? Should I plan something or just see what happens spontaneously? We were lucky to have Jade…
Workshop on Sexuality. Part I
Sexuality within a committed relationship works differently than casual hook-up sexuality. This distinction can help you address relationship issues and avoid frustration if you expect things in bed with your spouse after a trip to IKEA to be just as passionate as they are with a mysterious guy you picked up at a jazz bar. Similarly, teenage sexuality works differently than adult sexuality. A distinction that helps you adapt your sex education knowledge to this new phase of life and avoid stress when you expect body parts to become erect and lubricated just as easily as they did when you were…
Workshop on Sexuality. Part II
We’ll continue our exploration of how workshop sexuality differs from other forms of sexuality. In Part I, we concluded that workshops are structured around a didactic framework, follow a plan, and prescribe certain rules and etiquette. For this reason, the claim that workshops break social norms is only partially true. As is often the case, breaking with norms here does not simply mean a lack of norms, but rather the establishment of a new norm. In our society, for example, it is “normal” in the sense of “common” for sex to be largely nonverbal. And this does not mean the absence of dirty talk, but rather an honest and respectful exchange about what one likes and what one does not. In sex-positive workshops, on the other hand…
Workshop on Sexuality. Part III
In 2021, the Institute for Cultural Inquiry in Berlin hosted a conference titled “The Workshop—Investigations Into an Artistic-Political Format,” whose content offers wonderfully illuminating insights into the internal logic of sex-positive workshops and their influence on a particular understanding of sexuality. Presentations explored all the wonderful promises of workshop culture: solution-oriented collaboration, the solidarity-based sharing of resources and knowledge, and mind-blowing opportunities for consciousness-expanding experiences through meditation exercises, psychological self-observation techniques, improvisation, or orgy experiments... According to the conference description, workshops are considered “highly adaptable and almost universally applicable…”
Workshop on Sexuality. Part IV
The last blog post mentioned the cultural studies conference “The Workshop - Investigations Into an Artistic-Political Format” at ici Berlin, where workshops were also examined for their distinctly artistic and performative aspects. Similarly, sex-positive workshops are a kind of performance or social sculpture that follow choreographies. Many theatrical concepts apply here: a specific form of interaction is rehearsed, skills are practiced, and rituals are performed. This shapes workshop sexuality as an ars erotica. Here, there is no need to…
Tantric Massage: Decluttering, Recluttering & Beyond – A TWAPOS Experience
So, here I am now: lying naked in the sun under an apple tree by the pool. Thinking about sex and revolution. All I hear is the wind in the trees and birdsong; occasionally a donkey or a peacock announces its presence. And here comes the happy puppy, enthusiastically biting my nipple—again. This is much nicer than I thought…
Salt with a Dash of Tantra
“It’s like opening Pandora’s box”—that’s how one participant described her experience at our retreat, TANTRA WITH A PINCH OF SALT. The things that come to the surface once you stop taking things for granted. Like when I attended my first Tantra workshops, I just took for granted what the teachers told me… For example, that we were engaging in authentic tantric practices by giving massages. And then, on the first evening of our retreat, we learned in Eva Hanson’s lecture that those massages were actually never part of tantric philosophy or spirituality…
On Being Unenthusiastic About Enthusiastic Consent – A New Zine by Beate Absalon
Consent is a bit like magic—it turns what was previously forbidden into something allowed or even desired! But how can we know that the consent given is valid—real!—consent?
Progressive sex-positive education sometimes outlines the parameters of good, valid consent using the acronym…
Calling a Sex-Positive Community, Group, or Event a “Family” – And Why It’s a Red Flag – New Zine by Beata
Over the many years we’ve been visiting or participating in various sex-positive communities, there’s been one word that makes our whole bodies cringe and feel alarmed. It’s “family.” Fa-mi-ly. It’s supposed to sound nice, right? It gives a comforting sense of community. It’s just a harmless way to spread good vibes. To foster camaraderie. To let you know: You’re welcome! You’re one of us! Gooblegubble One of us!…
But I'm a Creep. A lab report.
This text is meant to be a warm companion for you before or after attending our workshop: ON CREEPY OLD MXN & BEYOND – & playSPACE, Saturday, December 18, 2021, at serrat(u)s bodywork in Zurich. – – – "How about I follow you around all day tomorrow?" - "But then I would know that... Maybe you could hire someone I don’t know to follow me around in secret like a stalker?” – “Oh, that’s a good idea!” – Two people plot how to get to that feeling that sends cold shivers down your spine. Because something feels off, even if nothing clearly dangerous is happening. They are surrounded by a whole group of people who are compiling some sort of curiosity cabinet of such weird ideas. One person is thinking of designing jewelry out of clipped toenails, while another wants to take up a creepy passion for a private collection: to secretly cut off a lock of hair from each of her lovers and catalog them. One woman kneads pizza dough to put on her face as a grotesque mask, because she was deemed too young and pretty to trigger this specific…
As many rules as necessary, as few as possible. The pitfalls of deregulated sex-positive spaces with a focus on gender inequality
We are pleased to have received permission to publish our friend Anna Mense’s text, which was first published in the *Journal of Positive Sexuality*. Abstract: To explain suffering in contemporary romantic relationships, Eva Illouz (2012) examines the consequences of the separation of erotic and romantic encounters from committed relationships such as marriage. While this separation is often hailed as a triumph of free choice and liberal love, Illouz argues that it creates systemic inequalities between male and female agents. The article uses Illouz’s analysis as a starting point and basis for studying deregulated sex-positive spaces with regard to their risk of involuntarily reproducing features of socio-political domination. The discussion is driven by an interest in the question of how options for exploring sexual and romantic relationships can be developed without reproducing the systemic disadvantages of heteronormative culture.
How exactly do you even play in so-called sex-positive spaces, and is it really just about sex, or is it actually about something else too—but what do you call that?
While walking with a friend, we talk about my perception and experience of the so-called sex-positive spaces - out of her open curiosity, as she has not yet experienced these spaces first-hand. I start by describing a bit of the 'infrastructure': how it all started for me in the first place, how I first stumbled into a workshop by chance at a dance school where ropes and floggers were also used, how I then met Schwelle7 and Matís, whom I told about writing my master's thesis on Shibari and who then recruited me as an assistant for a bondage course in no time at all. Finally, the more difficult part, trying to describe what interests me about the rooms in the first place. I mention the classics that many people in the "scene" report about. How liberating it is to let people...
Cookie Consent
Hey everyone! We’re all working hard to foster a culture of consent by reminding ourselves—in workshops and beyond—that we shouldn’t take physical affection for granted; that we shouldn’t just assume what the other person wants; that we should respect personal boundaries and support one another in discovering, through self-determination and collaborative processes, what naughty things we’d like to get up to together; that we can truly let go and surrender especially when we create safe spaces of trust; that a “no” isn’t a drama but a valuable guide for navigating the love zone, and so on and so forth. This is all a massive project—indeed, a humanistic educational project, if you will—because there is much more at stake here than merely securing oneself legally, contractually speaking, when becoming intimate with someone in order to arm oneself against accusations of assault. Rather, this is about deconstructing paternalistic structures and forging new relationships with oneself and the world! It’s about learning to respect oneself, to respect others…
A self-help zine for the time AFTER an exciting workshop
Completely irrelevant in times like these, but the holidays were such a wonderful opportunity for crafting and reflection that we didn't want to keep the results from you. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Intimate Interviews Part II
Last year, we had the pleasure of interviewing wonderful and talented people about everything that also occupies us in our work. To start things off, we treated our interviewees to a bodywork session of their choice, so we could get the conversation flowing with a good rush of blood. We had prepared many questions, some of which came up repeatedly, while others arose spontaneously. So the conversations usually began with a free association on the topic of “sex”—simply saying whatever first came to mind, without thinking. And toward the end, the focus was mostly on what specific workshops on creative intimacy they would like to see. What emerged between us and was put into words is, to me, pure gold! Here is the second transcribed interview!
INDEX
- April 2025
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February 2025
- Feb. 10, 2025 On the "tradition" of Tantra Massage (OR Eva says it best) Feb. 10, 2025
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October 2024
- Oct. 24, 2024 My First Time Oct. 24, 2024
- Oct. 21, 2024 I'm sorry about the sex Oct. 21, 2024
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August 2023
- Aug. 22, 2023 Devouring, Digestion, and Kokoreç Aug. 22, 2023
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July 2023
- July 3, 2023 "I do wonder: Why am I putting people through this?" July 3, 2023
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April 2023
- April 22, 2023 Workshop on Sexuality. Part I April 22, 2023
- April 21, 2023 Workshop on Sexuality. Part II April 21, 2023
- April 20, 2023 Workshop on Sexuality. Part III April 20, 2023
- April 19, 2023 Workshop on Sexuality. Part IV April 19, 2023
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August 2022
- Aug. 23, 2022 Tantric Massage: Decluttering, Recluttering & Beyond – A TWAPOS experience Aug. 23, 2022
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July 2022
- July 30, 2022 Salt With a Pinch of Tantra July 30, 2022
- July 21, 2022 On Being Unenthusiastic About Enthusiastic Consent – New Zine by Beate Absalon July 21, 2022
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January 2022
- Jan. 11, 2022 Calling a Sex-Positive Community, Group, or Event a “Family”—And Why It Is a Red Flag—New Zine by Beata Jan. 11, 2022
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December 2021
- Dec. 1, 2021 But I'm a Creep. A Lab Report. Dec. 1, 2021
- October 2021
- September 2021
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April 2021
- April 10, 2021 Cookie Consent April 10, 2021
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January 2021
- Jan. 2, 2021 Self-help zine for the time AFTER an exciting workshop Jan. 2, 2021
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December 2020
- Dec. 31, 2020 Intimate Interviews Part II Dec. 31, 2020
- Dec. 22, 2020 Goethe-Institut China video interview with Beata on “Pornography & Society” Dec. 22, 2020
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November 2020
- Nov. 11, 2020 The Inner Playground. An audio journey by Tim Holland Nov. 11, 2020
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October 2020
- Oct. 29, 2020 Daniela Reina Téllez on the Power of Workshops and Circles Oct. 29, 2020
- Oct. 20, 2020 Sex /vs./&/?/ Violence. An Attempt at Conceptual Delimitation through Demarcation Oct. 20, 2020
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September 2020
- Sept. 18, 2020 Testimonial for our workshop “Trial & Eros” by Claire Sept. 18, 2020
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August 2020
- Aug. 6, 2020 “Sex & Food” – Beata in a podcast conversation with Nicole Siller Aug. 6, 2020
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June 2020
- June 23, 2020 Intimate Interviews Part I – The Connection Between Art and Desire and a Workshop Request Show June 23, 2020
- June 15, 2020 Lonely Surfaces – Sexual Enhancement on the Touchscreen June 15, 2020
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May 2020
- May 3, 2020 Sexual Moralism – Compulsory Sex – Sex Positivity – Sex Negativity May 3, 2020
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March 2020
- March 18, 2020 Inspiring Restraint – Not Just in Japanese. Cultural-Historical Connections to Bondage March 18, 2020
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February 2020
- Feb. 24, 2020 Clauses: A Self-Reflection Feb. 24, 2020
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January 2020
- Jan. 15, 2020 Beyond ‘sex-positive’ and ‘sex-negative’ Jan. 15, 2020
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November 2019
- Nov. 27, 2019 Deguiltification – An Experiential Essay by Chris Ifso Nov. 27, 2019
- Nov. 10, 2019 Forensic Sexualities. Some Thoughts on Shame Nov. 10, 2019
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September 2019
- Sept. 25, 2019 “Look What Marketing’s Done to My Body” – On the Pressure of (Not-So) Creative Self-Promotion Sept. 25, 2019
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July 2019
- July 9, 2019 An Eclectic Essay on (In)security (work in progress) July 9, 2019
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June 2019
- June 24, 2019 On Wellness and Exorcism: An Essay on What Makes a Session Valuable June 24, 2019
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April 2019
- April 28, 2019 The Ropes That Mean The World. Reflections on the EURIX – Rope Artist Intl. Performances Spring 2019 April 28, 2019
- April 6, 2019 “Always this gross sex.” On reading the reviews of Jan Bonny’s ‘Wintermärchen’ April 6, 2019
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March 2019
- March 27, 2019 A mixed bag, please! Definitional difficulties March 27, 2019
- March 20, 2019 Enduring the Unconventional: Reflections After a Workshop March 20, 2019
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July 2018
- July 10, 2018 Some Thoughts on the Empowering Sensual Objectifications in Contact Improvisation July 10, 2018
TAG CLOUD
- An Orgy
- Anna Mense
- Type
- Audio
- BDSM
- Beata
- Beata
- Beate Absalon
- Bondage
- Brainstorming
- CI
- cluttering
- Consent
- Creepiness
- Critical Sexpositivity
- criticism
- Cultural Theory
- decluttering
- Definition
- Decriminalization
- Empowerment
- Enhancement
- Enthusiastic Consent
- Expectations
- Felix Ruckert
- Female Pleasure
- Feminism
- Shackles
- Arts & Culture
- Fluent
- FOMO
- freedom
- FRIES
- Goethe-Institut China
- I gotta fuck
- Borders
- Growing Old
- History
- Timber Market
- humor
- Independence
- Interview
- Intimacy
- Kinbaku
- consensus
- Criticism
- Cultural History
- Art
- Body
- Nouns of the body
- Lumen d'Arc
- Luhmen d'Arc Studio
- luhmendarc
- Desire
- Martha Nussbaum
- matis
- Matís d'Arc
- MyGiulia
- new age
- Not giving a damn
- Orgy
- Podcast
- Positivity Pressure
- Prude-shaming
- Queer Contact Improvisation
- Rape Play
- Rebecca
- Reflection
- Rules
- retreat
- Review
- Risk-Aware Space
- Rules
- Safe(r) Space
- Shame
- Self-help
- Session
- Sex
- Sex Technologies
- Anti-sex
- Sex-positive
- Sexuality
- Sexuality
- Shame
- Shibari
- Safety
- Solidarity
- Spain
- tantra
- tantric massage
- tantra with a pinch of salt
- Testimonial
- Touch & Play
- lack of enthusiasm
- Uncertainty
- Devour
- When
- Workshop
- Workshop on Sexuality
- zine

