Workshopsexuality. Part IV
In the last blog post, reference was made to the cultural studies conference "The Workshop - Investigations Into an Artistic-Political Format" at ici Berlin, where workshops were also examined for their decidedly artistic-performative aspects. Sex-positive workshops are also a kind of performance or social sculpture that follow choreographies. Many theater terms fit in here: a certain togetherness is rehearsed, skills are practiced, rituals are performed. This forms workshop sexuality as an ars erotica. Here you don't have to follow the mainstream patterns of sex, here you become the architect of your own refined, original sexuality. There are no limits to your imagination and creativity.
At the same time, workshops stand out because they can break through everyday social scripts, but then can't get away from their own when they almost creepily trim bodies to the same patterns of expression. I love listening to my friend Becky talk about how she can't stand it anymore when workshops say "Feel into your body", whereupon everyone, EVERYONE starts to gently sway like a seaweed and let out this very specific "Haaaaaah!" sigh. Are we doing this because it's the truest, most genuine, best, most authentic way to feel into your body? Or do we do it because it has somehow become the theater we play in workshops and unquestioned habits have crept in?
This process could be compared to porn, in which lip biting or the moaned exclamation "fuck" is supposed to mean arousal - and this code for "arousal" then also creeps into our private sex. Here, too, we can ask whether we moan "fuck" because we are (consciously or unconsciously) imitating porn or whether porn simply represents 'real sex' (spoiler: there is much to suggest that the latter is not true). And so a manageable catalog of workshop gestures shapes the way we express intimacy: placing the palm of your hand on your own breast becomes a seemingly universal sign for feeling inside. Using the traffic light system replaces the negotiation of consent. Sharing rounds are a must because they stand for cohesion and processing. When everyone walks through the room, it is a signifier for arriving and getting to know each other and signals: here we go. Having everyone breathe in and out loudly and deeply together stands for the processing of heavy emotional frequencies in the room. In workshops, the reaction to "Feel into your body" could be a porny tongue-over-lips lick and in porn, arousal could be staged through gentle rocking and the enumeration of body sensations.
Whether sharing rounds, Wheel of Consent or breathing together are actually the most suitable means for the intended purpose unfortunately seems secondary in the worst case, because the codes have already spread and solidified as a matter of course and are simply reeled off in the "take..." recipe format. Sharing rounds, for example, sometimes seem to fulfill a completely different hidden agenda, such as giving facilitators the opportunity to sit back and take a break... but I digress.
Of course, exchange rounds can be valuable and helpful, just like the other tools. However, they can also be empty formalities that are only done because it is the right thing to do and not because it is coherent.
The difference is sometimes not easy to detect, and perhaps works better outside of workshops, for example when the spontaneous lover in the club toilet probably can't do anything with the traffic light system code "orange" at first or doesn't want to feel obliged to provide aftercare afterwards.
Well, of course, it's not surprising that the insignia of workshop sexuality are being transferred to casual or partner sex. I'd be more curious to see what happens if it works! Who stands in the bedroom and shakes together before having sex with their sweetie? Who first walks around the room with their crush, then stands in front of them, looks each other in the eye and says a formalized sentence from an Authentic Relating manual? Who gives feedback on the quality of touch when cruising? Who takes a 10-minute pee and snack break while masturbating and then continues with the fapping program?
The + behind LGBTQIA+ stimulates the imagination: do you identify as W for workshopsexual?
