THE PILLOW BLOG

 

Workshopsexuality. Part I
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Workshopsexuality. Part I

Partnered sexuality works differently to casual hook-up sexuality. It's a distinction that can help you tackle relationship problems and save yourself frustration if you think that things should be just as fiery in bed with your spouse after a visit to Ikea as they are with a mysterious guy you drag out of a jazz bar. Similarly, adolescent sexuality works differently to adult sexuality. A distinction that helps you to adapt your sex education knowledge to the new phase of life and save yourself stress if you think that body parts should erect and lubricate just as easily as they do when you're...

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Workshopsexuality. Part II
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Workshopsexuality. Part II

We continue with an attempt to find out how workshop sexuality differs from other sexualities. In Part I, we stopped at the observation that workshops are didactically organized, follow a plan and prescribe certain rules and manners. This is why the assertion that workshops break social norms is only partially true. As is so often the case, breaking norms does not simply go hand in hand with freedom from norms, but with a new norm. Normal in the sense of "common" in our society is, for example, that sex is largely non-verbal. And this doesn't mean a lack of dirty talk, but an honest and respectful exchange about what you like and what you don't like. In sex-positive workshops, on the other hand...

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Workshopsexuality. Part III
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Workshopsexuality. Part III

At the Institute for Cultural Inquiry in Berlin in 2021, there was a conference called "The Workshop - Investigations Into an Artistic-Political Format", the contents of which are wonderfully illuminating for the inherent logic of sex-positive workshops and their influence on a certain understanding of sexuality. Presentations were dedicated to all the beautiful promises of workshop culture: solution-oriented cooperation, solidarity and supportive sharing of resources and knowledge, crazy possibilities of consciousness-expanding experiences through meditation exercises, psychological self-observation techniques, improvisation or organ experiments... According to the conference description, workshops are considered to be "optimally connectable and almost universally applicable...

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Workshopsexuality. Part IV
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Workshopsexuality. Part IV

In the last blog post, reference was made to the cultural studies conference "The Workshop - Investigations Into an Artistic-Political Format" at ici Berlin, where workshops were also examined for their decidedly artistic-performative aspects. Sex-positive workshops are also a kind of performance or social sculpture that follow choreographies. Many theater terms fit in here: a certain togetherness is rehearsed, skills are practiced, rituals are performed. This forms workshop sexuality as an ars erotica. It doesn't have to be...

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But I'm a Creep. A Lab report.
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But I'm a Creep. A Lab report.

This text warmly wishes to accompany you before or after attending our workshop: ON CREEPY OLD MXN & BEYOND - & playSPACE, Saturday, 18.12.2021, at serrat(u)s bodywork in Zürich. - - "How about I follow you around all day tomorrow?" - "But then I would know that... Maybe you could hire somebody I don't know to follow me around in secret like a stalker?" - "Oh, that's a good idea!" - Two people plot how to get to that feeling that sends cold shivers down your spine. Because something feels off, even if nothing clearly dangerous is happening. They are surrounded by a whole group of people who are compiling some sort of curiosity cabinet of such weird ideas. One person is thinking of designing jewelry out of clipped toenails, while another one wants to take up a creepy passion for a private collection: to secretely cut off a lock of hair from each of her lovers and catalog them. One woman kneads pizza dough to put on her face as a grotesque mask, because she was deemed too young and pretty to trigger this specific...

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Daniela Reina Téllez On The Power Of Workshops And Circles
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Daniela Reina Téllez On The Power Of Workshops And Circles

Daniela moves "in the fields of experimental art and somatic work" and explores "the political, ecological, activist possibilities of workshops and body practices as artistic practices". What happiness and joy to meet this beautiful person at the Touch & Play festival! I was touched by her post on social media, where the script of her talk below was shared, with the words: "(...) Fellow and dear facilitaros and circle-holders: Thank you for the work you do ❤ Let's keep gatherings and circles alive, especially now; being virtual, outside, with distance, with safe(r) measures... Let's keep them and us alive!" And thank YOU for the work you do, Daniela! I hope that reading about her artistic career and her homage to workshops, gatherings, sessions and circles reaches and enriches many people. Because course and body work is immensely important, strangely enough sometimes ridiculed, yet it is one of the most meaningful events and creations that I have been able to experience and create in this life. Therefore - here we go...

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Testimonial for our workshop "Trial & Eros" by Claire
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Testimonial for our workshop "Trial & Eros" by Claire

This time we wish to share with you a longer reflection by a participant of one of our workshops. During the wonderful week-long gathering "Touch & Play" in south Germany, Beata facilitated an intensive she called "Trial & Eros - Engineering Fantasies and Navigating Playspaces" which was all about figuring out what erotic fantasies you have, how to make them come true, to seize the group and atmospheric container to actually make it happen, to reflect with others how it was and to then do it again - but better! Basically it wanted to motivate participants to not only float around in a playspace like a jellyfish and see where they land (chances are it will just be a cuddle puddle...), but rather approach it like an architect or a bunch of savvy researchers who want to harvest the good stuff and proactively build their dreams.

And here is what Claire experienced...

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Intimate Interviews Part I - The connection between art and desire and a workshop request concert
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Intimate Interviews Part I - The connection between art and desire and a workshop request concert

Last year, we had the pleasure of conducting interviews with lovely and talented people about everything that concerns us in our work. To do this, we first pampered our interviewees with a bodywork session of their choice so that we could get into conversation with each other in a well-blooded way. We had prepared many questions and they came up again and again, while others arose spontaneously. So the conversations usually started with a free association on the topic of "sex" - just say the first thing that comes to mind without thinking. And towards the end, it was usually about which workshops on creative intimacy they would specifically like to see. What emerged between us and was put into words are pieces of gold for me! Here is the first transcribed interview!

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Clauses. A self-reflection
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Clauses. A self-reflection

The list of what we want to include as clauses in our workshop descriptions grows and grows from one workshop experience to the next. For example, it used to be enough to write that "people of all genders and sexual orientations are welcome." It is now clear that simply mentioning this is of course not enough. Because a mixed group brings its own explosive power and of course everyone is welcome, but how do you do justice to the specific challenges? Are workshop leaders able to talk about vulvas in such a way that people without an anatomical vulva but with an energetic vulva can also receive a pussy massage? Who can do that? How? And how do group leaders manoeuvre through whether a group is cool with, for example, structurally marginalized people (e.g. people with bodies on the spectrum of race, gender, age, dis_ability who have different conditions than the socially conventional norm) - without being drawn into the triggering...

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Wellness and exorcism. An attempt to answer the question of what makes a session valuable
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Wellness and exorcism. An attempt to answer the question of what makes a session valuable

Always a balancing act: the thing with sitting circles in workshop settings. It's unbearably pedagogical when everyone has to take turns laying an egg and saying something (footnote: and, interestingly enough, surprisingly often giving information about their own tiredness or alertness). On the other hand, it is also so wonderfully democratic when everyone is given space to speak and be heard, without shyness or overconfidence deciding who speaks. And then there is the admittedly always powerful circle symbolism, which in séances even makes tables move as if by magic...

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Enduring the weird. Reflections after a workshop
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Enduring the weird. Reflections after a workshop

"Feeling good is not a special quality" - explained my Butoh dance teacher Anna Barth many years ago. You could have thought she was being cynical, but instead my heart sank. Like a wise temptation, the sentence expressed what one suspects but searches for in vain when the standard of Instagram images naturally elevates comfort to a desirable standard. This sentence opened up a space that hospitably granted access to a variety of moods and feelings. The aim was no longer to lead a happy life, but a rich one. When dancing, this manifested itself in such a way that I shamelessly no longer...

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