Here is a wonderful description of the workshop as >> pdf.
“I wonder if that feels good?” “Do I look weird?” “Is that what he expects?” “Is that how it’s done?” “Do I want this?” “Why doesn’t she want to?” “How do I know what I want?” “How do I say that?” “Why is he doing that?” “Do they like that?” “Why can’t I?” “Shouldn’t we do this more often?” “Is that allowed?” “Where do I start?” “What do we do afterward?”...
WHY THIS WORKSHOP
Let’s be honest—or let’s get down to business: whose sex life is actually flawless? But why should it be—sex is complex! And strange, in the best possible way. Yet everyone acts as if it’s perfectly clear how it works and what it’s all about. Right?
Or is it? Because if you look around, things don’t exactly look like a paradise of erotic fulfillment. Intimacy could mean participating in life and sharing experiences that uplift, comfort, or intrigue. Instead, people compare themselves to others and put on a show. Looking good seems more important than feeling good. Some worry about their relationship because the spark is gone. Others wonder what’s wrong with them because they can’t climax, aren’t able to, or don’t want to. The solution: tinkering with symptoms?“Just do something exciting again! Watch less porn! Take these pills! 10 tips to beat the slump!” But does that help in the long run?
And even if it works out: how well do you know your own sexuality? Do you feel comfortable with it? Do you stay curious? Or does it just “work”?
OUR SUGGESTION
Beherzt vorwärts scheitern <3
This weekend, problems* become muses that inspire. Companions that protect. They want to be heard and respected so they can transform. They demand: something must change for us! Because it’s probably not us who are troubled, but our circumstances.
So where exactly is the problem?
*You can read about what issues are meant in the disclaimer below
Our bodies are cleverly defiant. They don’t conform to any idea of “good” or “normal” sex—unless it aligns with the way we tick.
What makes you tick? In other words: what drives you, who are you, and what makes you who you are?
Under what conditions do you thrive—almost effortlessly, without that exhausting drive to optimize?
What kind of sex would you invent that suits you (including any possibilities across the entire spectrum of asexuality or abstinence)?
Your sex life might have nothing to do with what is generally considered “sex.” That might seem scary or exhausting. As social beings, many people prefer to follow a “paint-by-numbers” approach rather than figure things out for themselves . “Just tell me what to do!” But that’s exactly what misses the point…
HOW WE SUPPORT YOU AS YOU EXPLORE, GROW, AND RESEARCH
When you're on your own, it's easy to feel overwhelmed by difficulties and challenges. To embrace them as opportunities and valuable resources, you need
• Thoughtfully designed and empathetic spaces for experiencing the present moment—for sensing, reflecting, and making sense of things
• Playgrounds for experimenting with unfamiliar practices, adopting new perspectives, and envisioning—on both a grand and intimate scale—how things could be different
• engaged groups that don’t sugarcoat things, but look at them honestly and want to learn and grow together
With kindness, curiosity, and a playful spirit, we explore the deeper, still hidden layers and themes underlying our problems, what they point to, and what possibilities they open up.
How does the problem feel in your body? How can you move it? How does it want to express itself? What would it say? What needs are being expressed through it?
METHODS
The exercises are done both individually and in interaction with others—always in a way that feels right to everyone involved.
The instructions are clearly communicated and make the purpose of the exercises transparent.
Various options for doing the exercises are suggested. You can always take a break.
Our work is inspired by systemic, experiential, and body-oriented psychotherapy, the improvisational arts, BDSM, Authentic Relating, embodiment, and critical theory.
Among other things, we will do the following:
• Mindfulness exercises that allow you to physically sense the problem—including its complexity as well as its discomfort (“Felt Sensing”)
• Kinky play scenarios and interactions that broaden the scope of sexuality and raise awareness of sensuality, eroticism, and power dynamics
• Reflecting on typical behavioral patterns, followed by somatic exercises that stimulate the nervous system in a different way than usual: calmness in situations where one would normally feel tense; arousal in situations where one would normally “break down”
• Embodiment through dramatic constellations to give the problem a tangible form and engage in dialogue with it
• Creative writing and sketching to find new, original, or more precise words and images for the topic
• Body mapping / pleasure mapping, which helps identify sensations in the body that go beyond traditional, socially constructed definitions
• Betty Martin’s Wheel of Consent allows you to explore different types of touch and inner attitudes
• Reflectingon recurring fantasies ( ) and the needs and internalized beliefs they express
• Identifying our personal turn-ons and becoming aware of the contexts, circumstances, and conditions we need to feel safe and, as a result, experience desire
*DISCLAIMER
• Problems are defined by the fact that they are unpleasant, cause worry, etc. However, the potential emotional distress should be something you can tolerate in order to address it during the course. We do not provide solutions, but rather expand perspectives and possibilities (reframing, re-imagining, reinterpreting). If this is not possible for you because you want to get rid of the problem as quickly as possible and at all costs, we would advise against participating in the course.
• There are issues on a purely physical level that can and should be treated medically. This course is by no means intended to replace such treatment. However, we can guide you in how you wish to deal with your symptoms and treatments, assess them, and live with them. This is never about “bypassing”—distracting yourself from existing feelings and sensations—but rather about creatively integrating what is.
• We do not provide psychologically grounded support; rather, drawing on our expertise in bodywork and social analysis, we offer a space for exploring the fairly common discomforts and difficulties associated with sex and non-sex
• Paraphilias are not appropriate topics for this course (Content Note: Violence → Paraphilias = sexual references to non-consenting beings, as well as non-consensual acts of torture, humiliation, overpowering, harassment, or coercion into sexual activities)
• Unresolved trauma is not a suitable topic for this course.
We generally speak of trauma when the violence experienced has not been processed and integrated. If the traumatic event has not yet been addressed through therapy, participation in the course is generally not recommended.
However, participation is possible if you have already addressed the issue and feel emotionally stable enough to integrate it into your personal story as part of our course. At no point during the course will we, as workshop facilitators, specifically ask about traumatic experiences, in order to avoid the risk of overwhelming emotions and retraumatization. We take a trauma-sensitive approach, but we do not offer trauma therapy.
• Also unsuitable for this course are those who identify as incels (“involuntary celibates”), whose frustration stems from a sense of entitlement that leads them to believe they are entitled to sex.
• However, we warmly welcome those who are involuntarily celibate—people who do not feel entitled to the bodies of others and who are willing to explore the associated emotions (such as frustration, disappointment, feelings of inferiority, irritation, insecurity, etc.) with curiosity and an open mind.
• You don’t have to have a major problem—you’re just as welcome to come by with your little “quirks” or simply with your questions, curiosity, or sense of wonder!
• Your issues may relate to your personal sex life, but they may also relate to societal perceptions and norms regarding sex that you find challenging. Additionally, we can address issues arising in specific contexts (e.g., problems related to sex within a relationship)
• Here is a partial list of potential issues that might lead you to us:
The feeling: There’s gotta be more to it than this! Or the question, “What else is possible?” “What am I missing?” / Pressure to perform / Expectations / Dissatisfaction / Lack of enthusiasm / Insecurity / Shame / Shyness / Embarrassment / Disgust / Boredom / Inhibitions / Weariness / Stress / Pessimism / Frustration / Irritation / Dissatisfaction / Discouragement / Confusion / Feeling rejected or fear of being rejected / Clumsiness / Feeling lost (e.g., uncertainty about which sexual identity, orientation, or preferences suit you) / Lack of drive / Room for improvement in communication skills (“How do I figure out and express what I (don’t) want?”) / various “dysfunctions” according to the MSD Manual (“disorders” or “deficiencies” regarding libido, desire, arousal, erection, orgasm, ejaculation, vaginismus, lubrication, pain, etc.) / feeling overwhelmed / numbness / dissociation / emotional numbness / Overstimulation / Oversexed and underfucked / Incompatibility / differing expectations or needs in relationships / Inexperience / Longing / lack of sex ( → e.g., one desires more/different/more frequent sex, or one hasn’t had sex in a long time and feels out of practice or fears never having it again, …) / Questioning one’s own asexual spectrum / FOMO (fear of missing out) / Awkwardness / feeling strange / Incompetence / lack of confidence / Self-doubt (“I can’t do it,” “I’m definitely bad in bed,” “I’m not queer enough,” “he’ll leave me if I don’t…”) / Jealousy / Envy / Comparing oneself to others / Low sexual capital in a patriarchal society / Fear of being used by others / Hypersexuality / “Sex addiction” / Questioning one’s own needs behind sex (is something possibly being compensated for?) / Blockages / Perfectionism / Lack of imagination / Repression / Internalized and limiting beliefs or convictions / Search for new horizons, possibilities, definitions / Wanting to cultivate a greater capacity for pleasure / Lack of security or commitment during sex / Not feeling lovable if… / wanting to save oneself for later / having different ideas than the majority of society / feelings of alienation / placing enormous importance on sex, which is a burden / high tension during sex / stiffness / ingrained behavioral patterns during sex / cognitive narrowing/rigidity (it only works if you meticulously do XYZ and you wish for more options) / stale routines / people-pleasing / selfishness / giving too much / not being able or willing to receive or treat oneself / not being able or willing to treat or give to others / not knowing what one wants / exhaustion / wanting to shed ingrained role expectations (do I always have to be the wild stallion? Who else can I be?) / feeling asexual / feeling too sexual / being unaware of one’s own motivations for sex (“Why do I have sex?”) / not knowing how to do it (right) / room for improvement in one’s skill set / resentment / “overthinking” / sabotage / desiring deeper intimacy / avoidance / ...
THE HOSTESSES
BEATE ABSALON
is a cultural theorist with a background in various somatic disciplines. In her work, she explores the ambivalence of modern sexual cultures. She has held research fellowships at various institutions for cultural studies and is pursuing a Ph.D. on the practices of negotiating consensual sex. In 2024, she published her non-fiction book*Not Giving a Fuck*. On Listless Sex and Sexless Lust: Overcoming Social Pressure and Finding Lively Intimacy (Kremayr&Scheriau). In it, she argues that the pressure to have great sex can be confidently shaken off, while a curious and benevolent attitude toward lack of desire, shame, boredom, “dry spells,” feminist celibacy, or asexuality can open up exciting new forms of intimacy. She is currently training to become a couples and sex therapist. As a psychosocial counselor and workshop leader, she believes in the power of eroticism—which often reveals itself most clearly in moments of “failure.” Her practice promotes self-determination and invites people to engage with themselves with greater seriousness as well as more playfulness.
Photo: Pauline Massimo
REBECCA FRANCES
studied languages at the University of Cambridge and now explores how the body communicates. As a coach, yoga teacher, and breath therapist, she explores how to lead a fulfilling and joyful life despite the inevitability of crises, illness, limitations, pain, and grief. She completed training in Sexological Bodywork at ISB Berlin, as well as over 600 hours of massage, breathwork, and bodywork training (David Lutt, Thai Massage Circus, Kaline Kelly, Daniel Odier, Martin Beaudoin), over 400 hours of RYT yoga teacher training (Surinder Ji, Lizzie and Judith Lasater, Rajiv Chanchani), has experience in the study of tantric massage, conscious sexual practices, and BDSM, and is an advanced student of Taoist practices. In addition, she explores philosophical and poetic approaches to the somatic. In her practical, creative, and experimental physical exercises, she draws on her intellectual background and professional interests to further investigate exactly what happens when bodies touch, and why we either want or don’t want that so much.
SCHEDULE
Sat, July 18, 2026 -10pm.10pm
Sun, July 19, 2025 - 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.
On both days: 11:00 a.m. soft arrival for an 11:15 a.m. start
LANGUAGES
, English, German
HOSTS
, Beata & Rebecca Frances
Choose your ticket price based on your own assessment.
With our Low(er) Income Tickets, we want to give low-income individuals the opportunity to attend our events.
We cordially invite high earners to make it with a higher contribution possible for us to make this offer.
With that in mind, we would like to thank you in advance for your support.
For people with very low incomes, there are usually additional options available for even lower prices.
Please don't hesitate to contact us with any questions. We'd love to have you join us!
PRICE PER PERSON:
EUR 350.00
Low(er) Income Tickets
I – EUR 300.00
II – EUR 250.00
III – EUR 200.00
High(er) Income Tickets
I – EUR 400.00
II – EUR 450.00
III – EUR 500.00
Please also read all further info below, too.
Further informations
NOTES ON THE EVENT
Our events are about learning and exploring together as a group, fostering shared processes, and supporting personal development. Participants should generally be open to collaborating with others during the exercises, regardless of their gender, appearance, etc. Exceptions can always be discussed, however, as we aim to create a safer and more courageous space where all participants feel as included as possible, but not entitled. A space where we treat one another with generosity, but do not pander. A space where preconceptions are reexamined and deconstructed, while at the same time we honor our gut feelings.
Gender identity, sexual or romantic orientation, sexual preferences, age, or membership in marginalized groups such as BBIPoC, those with a migration background, refugees, LGBTQIA+, people with disabilities, etc., are not criteria for registration or participant selection.
We do our best to accommodate different needs, but our resources are limited. If you have any questions, please feel free to contact us!
While the IKSK workshop room is wheelchair accessible, the showers and restrooms in the room are only accessible via a few steps. However, the outdoor area of the Holzmarkt has appropriate facilities.
We expect everyone to treat one another with care, communicating their needs, interacting with mutual respect, and keeping shared experiences confidential. We ask that you refrain from making assumptions and instead ask questions respectfully rather than making assumptions about other participants’ preferences.
We encourage everyone to respect not only the boundaries of others but also their own. Participation in the course content is at your own risk.
The workshop will be conducted in English and German—depending on the participants’ needs, we will translate exercises and organize groups so that everyone can communicate in the language they are able or willing to speak.
You must attend the workshop sober.
Hate speech will not be tolerated.
We reserve the right to exclude participants whose behavior is offensive or problematic from the workshop without providing a reason—although we will likely try to explain our decision. Workshop fees will then be refunded in full. No further claims will be accepted.
CANCELLATION POLICY
Cancellations are free of charge up to eight weeks before the course begins; a cancellation fee of 20% of the course fee applies up to four weeks before the course begins, and a cancellation fee of 50% applies up to two weeks before the course begins. Later cancellations and refunds of course fees are not possible. However, participants may find replacement participants to take their reserved spots. There are no special provisions for non-attendance due to illness. We refer you to ticket insurance options—just Google “ticket insurance,” “Ergo,” “Hanse-Merkur,” or similar terms. In general, we strive to find accommodating solutions in such cases. Please contact us via a personal message if necessary. In the event of cancellation by the organizers, the full course fee will be refunded. Further claims are excluded.