My first time
This experience report was written by a participant after the FLINTA* orgy at Ewaldshof.
I was immediately curious when I heard about it. And of course there was a certain amount of trepidation: What can I expect? What is expected of me? How open am I really? How much physical closeness can I allow with people I don't know? How much nudity at all? Am I totally uptight? Am I not getting too old for this?
Will I know and respect my boundaries?
The extensive email in advance from Beate (Beate Absalon, workshop leader and author of "Don't give a fuck") has already solved a lot in me.
The word "slowness" appeared there and had a very calming effect on me. The thorough information about consent and safer sex, combined with the request for everyone to find out more about this, provided additional reassurance and the whole tone was so warm, welcoming and inviting that I got the feeling: Okay, this could be a door opener, a low-threshold access to a world that is strange but appealing to me...
So go ahead: take the plunge and don't let this opportunity pass you by! To be honest, I wasn't sure whether I was really going until the moment I set off, which is why I arrived just in time, which I don't like at all - no time to arrive in peace before setting off. Nevertheless, I quickly showered off and then set off into the unknown.
And then the realization in the introductions that I am not at all alone with my insecurities. Almost everyone has theirs and so many different ones: "Orgy" - what does that actually mean? Sex with strangers?
Only FLINTA*, how will that be? What if I'm not so good at communicating and interpreting non-verbally? What if I'm not good at talking about it? What if I'm distracted by noises or conversations or laughter or people watching? What is a "licking cloth"?
And how lovingly, relaxed and playful we were picked up!
We laughed a lot, sometimes really silly, a bit like teenagers.
And then there were these bodies, so different and the opportunity to show as much of ourselves as each of us wanted at our own pace. Everything felt completely natural, relaxed, cautious and yet courageously exploratory. Step by step and sometimes even one step back. We got closer to ourselves and to each other and then, poof - we were a group, like one big organism (including the odd orgasm ;o) It was good to feel closeness, to let boundaries blur, to realize that everyone was looking out for each other.
For me, no cis men meant not falling into learned patterns,
to have to protect myself, to set boundaries, not to "deliver" or "deliver" demands, justifications (even just to myself) and sometimes not even to be able to distinguish between what I want and what he wants. There was a natural attentiveness in the room that needed no explanation, no justification.
Initial fear and shame were replaced by relaxation, desire, lust, trust and joy.
Who would have thought that other people's lustful moans could be so arousing? And that it's not scary at all to touch many bodies at once, to no longer know where one begins and the other ends.
And the experience that everything is ok, that I don't have to do anything but am allowed to do a lot, that we were allowed to learn together, how we can be sure that everyone only does what they want. And WHAT I suddenly wanted there... And how quickly all this jumble of learned crap just disappears in a room like that, becomes unimportant. And so obviously stupid. Temporary relearning. Perhaps a step more towards general, sustainable relearning. Towards self-determined, because de-tabooed and beautifully consensual, pleasurable sexuality.
Highly recommended to all the curious, the insecure, the bashful:
This is a beautiful, very accessible space for crazy experiences full of affection, acceptance and humor. An experience that I won't forget in a hurry and definitely don't want to miss.
Have the courage!
