Workshopsexuality. Part IV
The last blog post referred to the cultural studies conference "The Workshop - Investigations Into an Artistic-Political Format" at ici Berlin, where workshops were also examined in terms of their decidedly artistic and performative aspects. Similarly, sex-positive workshops are a kind of performance or social sculpture that follow choreographies. Many theater terms fit here: a certain kind of togetherness isrehearsed, skills arepracticed, ritualsare performed. This shapes workshop sexuality as anars erotica. Here, there is no need to follow mainstream patterns of sex; here, you become the architect of your own sophisticated, original sexuality. There are no limits to imagination and creativity.
At the same time, workshops stand out because they can break through everyday social scripts, but then get stuck in their own when they train bodies to follow the same patterns of expression in an almost creepy way. I love listening to my friend Becky talk about how she can't stand it when workshops say "Feel into your body," whereupon everyone, EVERYONE, starts swaying gently like seaweed and uttering that very specific "Haaaaaah!" sigh. Do we do this because it is the truest, most genuine, best, most authentic way to feel into our bodies? Or do we do it because it has somehow become the theater we perform in workshops, and unquestioned habits have crept in?
This process could be compared to porn, in which biting the lips or moaning "fuck" is supposed to signify arousal—and this code for "arousal" then creeps into our private sex lives. Here, too, we might ask whether we moan "fuck" because we are (consciously or unconsciously) imitating porn, or whether porn simply represents "real sex" (spoiler: there is much to suggest that the latter is not true). And so a manageable catalog of workshop gestures shapes the way we express intimacy: placing the palm of your hand on your own chest becomes a seemingly universal sign of tuning in. Using the ampelsystem replaces negotiating mutual consent. Sharing circles are a must because they represent cohesion and processing. When everyone walks around the room, it is a signifier of arrival and getting to know each other and signals: here we go. Having everyone breathe in and out loudly and deeply together represents the processing of heavy emotional frequencies in the room. In workshops, "feel into your body" could be responded to with pornographic tongue-over-lip licking, and arousal in porn could be staged by gently rocking and listing bodily sensations.
Whether sharing rounds, the Wheel of Consent, or breathing together are actually the most suitable means for the intended purpose seems, in the worst case, to be of secondary importance, because the codes have already spread and become established as a matter of course and are simply reeled off in a "take..." recipe format. At the same time, sharing rounds, for example, sometimes seem to serve a completely differenthidden agenda, such as giving facilitators the opportunity to sit back and take a break... but I digress.
Of course, exchange rounds can be valuable and helpful, just like the other tools. However, they can also be empty formalities that are only done because it is the done thing, and not because it is appropriate.
The difference is sometimes not easy to detect, and may be easier to spot outside of workshops, for example when the spontaneous lover in the club toilet probably doesn't know what to make of the traffic light system code "orange" at first, or doesn't want to feel obliged to provide aftercare afterwards.
Na gut, es wundert freilich nicht, dass es knirscht beim Übertragen der Insignien der Workshop-Sexualität auf den Gelegenheits- oder Partnersex. Neugierig wäre ich eher, was passiert, wenn es gelingt! Wer steht vor dem Sex mit seiner Süßen erstmal im Schlafzimmer und schüttelt sich gemeinsam? Wer läuft mit seinem Schwarm erstmal im Raum rum, stellt sich dann vor ihn, blickt einander in die Augen und sagt einen formalisierten Satz aus einem Authentic Relating Handbuch? Wer gibt beim Cruising Feedback zur Berührungsqualität? Wer macht beim Masturbieren eine 10-minütige Pipi- und Snackpause und dann geht’s aber weiter im Fappingprogramm?
The + after LGBTQIA+ sparks the imagination: do you identify as a W for workshopsexual?
