THE PILLOW BLOG

 

Somatic Disembodiment - Or: How do I find out what I want (and that this is what I don't want)? Or: My favorite workshops are workshops that turn workshops upside down
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Somatic Disembodiment - Or: How do I find out what I want (and that this is what I don't want)? Or: My favorite workshops are workshops that turn workshops upside down

"We start with a short meditation in which we reflect on states that are not geared towards pleasure and satisfaction. We want to reflect on the nature of desire and ask whether our desire has much more to do with self-denial than with self-fulfillment."

 

This is it! My note that I was looking for ...

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I feel sorry for the sex
luhmen d'arc luhmen d'arc

I feel sorry for the sex

Pamela Russmann: The myGiulia theme for August is "What a feeling". What feeling do you associate with sex? Beate Absalon:
In English I would say "anticipation", which unfortunately is usually translated as "Vorfreude" in German. However, in the English meaning of this spellbound anticipation, both can be there at the same time: Joy and fear. And what I like about the word anticipation is that it refers to a state that has not yet occurred. I also associate this with sex, this eternal circling of something that somehow cannot be definitively grasped.

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"I do ask myself: why am I turning people in?"
luhmen d'arc luhmen d'arc

"I do ask myself: why am I turning people in?"

Jade carefully picks up a pink silicone cake mold, which is modeled on a cerebral hemisphere. Jade carefully scrapes out a thin white layer and collects it in a small bottle. Then we turn on the microphone and ask what Jade is doing and why :) With this audio series, we'd like to introduce you to people who can take a leaf out of our book when it comes to the question: What do you actually do in a Playspace? Because they come with many challenges. How do I get in touch with people? What should I pack for this? Should I plan something or spontaneously see what works? We were lucky enough with Jade...

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Workshopsexuality. Part I
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Workshopsexuality. Part I

Partnered sexuality works differently to casual hook-up sexuality. It's a distinction that can help you tackle relationship problems and save yourself frustration if you think that things should be just as fiery in bed with your spouse after a visit to Ikea as they are with a mysterious guy you drag out of a jazz bar. Similarly, adolescent sexuality works differently to adult sexuality. A distinction that helps you to adapt your sex education knowledge to the new phase of life and save yourself stress if you think that body parts should erect and lubricate just as easily as they do when you're...

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Workshopsexuality. Part II
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Workshopsexuality. Part II

We continue with an attempt to find out how workshop sexuality differs from other sexualities. In Part I, we stopped at the observation that workshops are didactically organized, follow a plan and prescribe certain rules and manners. This is why the assertion that workshops break social norms is only partially true. As is so often the case, breaking norms does not simply go hand in hand with freedom from norms, but with a new norm. Normal in the sense of "common" in our society is, for example, that sex is largely non-verbal. And this doesn't mean a lack of dirty talk, but an honest and respectful exchange about what you like and what you don't like. In sex-positive workshops, on the other hand...

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Workshopsexuality. Part III
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Workshopsexuality. Part III

At the Institute for Cultural Inquiry in Berlin in 2021, there was a conference called "The Workshop - Investigations Into an Artistic-Political Format", the contents of which are wonderfully illuminating for the inherent logic of sex-positive workshops and their influence on a certain understanding of sexuality. Presentations were dedicated to all the beautiful promises of workshop culture: solution-oriented cooperation, solidarity and supportive sharing of resources and knowledge, crazy possibilities of consciousness-expanding experiences through meditation exercises, psychological self-observation techniques, improvisation or organ experiments... According to the conference description, workshops are considered to be "optimally connectable and almost universally applicable...

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Workshopsexuality. Part IV
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Workshopsexuality. Part IV

In the last blog post, reference was made to the cultural studies conference "The Workshop - Investigations Into an Artistic-Political Format" at ici Berlin, where workshops were also examined for their decidedly artistic-performative aspects. Sex-positive workshops are also a kind of performance or social sculpture that follow choreographies. Many theater terms fit in here: a certain togetherness is rehearsed, skills are practiced, rituals are performed. This forms workshop sexuality as an ars erotica. It doesn't have to be...

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Salt With A Pinch Of Tantra
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Salt With A Pinch Of Tantra

"It's like opening a Pandora's box" - is how one participant described her experience at our retreat TANTRA WITH A PINCH OF SALT. The things that come to the surface once one refuses to take things for granted. Like when I participated in my first Tantra workshops I just took for granted what the teachers told me... For example that we are dealing with authentic tantric practices by doing massages. And then at our retreat on the first evening we learn in Eva Hanson's lecture that those massages actually never were a part of tantric philosophy and spiritual...

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Calling A Sex-Positive Community, Group or Event a "Family" - And Why It Is A Red Flag - New Zine by Beata
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Calling A Sex-Positive Community, Group or Event a "Family" - And Why It Is A Red Flag - New Zine by Beata

In the many years we have been visiting or a part of different sex-positive scenes there has been a common word that made our whole bodies cringe and feel alarmed. It's family. Fa-mi-ly. It's supposed to sound nice, no? It gives a comforting sense of community. It's just a harmless way to sprinkle good vibes. To generate camaraderie. To let you know: You are welcome! You are a part of us! Gooblegubble One of us!...

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How can you actually play in so-called sex-positive spaces and is it actually about sex or not actually about something else, but what do you call it?
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

How can you actually play in so-called sex-positive spaces and is it actually about sex or not actually about something else, but what do you call it?

While walking with a friend, we talk about my perception and experience of the so-called sex-positive spaces - out of her open curiosity, as she has not yet experienced these spaces first-hand. I start by describing a bit of the 'infrastructure': how it all started for me in the first place, how I first stumbled into a workshop by chance at a dance school where ropes and floggers were also used, how I then met Schwelle7 and Matís, whom I told about writing my master's thesis on Shibari and who then recruited me as an assistant for a bondage course in no time at all. Finally, the more difficult part, trying to describe what interests me about the rooms in the first place. I mention the classics that many people in the "scene" report about. How liberating it is to let people...

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Intimate Interviews Part II
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Intimate Interviews Part II

Last year, we had the pleasure of conducting interviews with lovely and talented people about everything that concerns us in our work. To do this, we first pampered our interviewees with a bodywork session of their choice so that we could get into conversation with each other in a well-blooded way. We had prepared many questions and they came up again and again, while others arose spontaneously. So the conversations usually started with a free association on the topic of "sex" - just say the first thing that comes to mind without thinking. And towards the end, it was usually about which workshops on creative intimacy they would specifically like to see. What emerged between us and was put into words are pieces of gold for me! Here is the second transcribed interview!

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Video interview by the Goethe-Institut China with Beata on "Pornography & Society"
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Video interview by the Goethe-Institut China with Beata on "Pornography & Society"

What materials can be used to trace the elusive nature of sexuality? How are our bodies and their desires entangled in power relations - how to deal with them? Alone or with others? Publicly or privately? By emphasizing the beautiful or the difficult sides? With play or seriousness? Being sweet or being angry? Do you even have to decide - and why is it always so much about deciding "This is good and this is bad!" when it comes to sexual matters? Silvan Hagenbrock, online editor of the Goethe-Institut China, spoke to Beata about her work and vision for the issue of the online magazine "yì" focusing on "Pornography and Society".
Watch the video here.

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