THE PILLOW BLOG

 
"I do ask myself: why am I turning people in?"
luhmen d'arc luhmen d'arc

"I do ask myself: why am I turning people in?"

Jade carefully picks up a pink silicone cake mold, which is modeled on a cerebral hemisphere. Jade carefully scrapes out a thin white layer and collects it in a small bottle. Then we turn on the microphone and ask what Jade is doing and why :) With this audio series, we'd like to introduce you to people who can take a leaf out of our book when it comes to the question: What do you actually do in a Playspace? Because they come with many challenges. How do I get in touch with people? What should I pack for this? Should I plan something or spontaneously see what works? We were lucky enough with Jade...

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On Being Unenthusiastic About Enthusiastic Consent - New Zine by Beata
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

On Being Unenthusiastic About Enthusiastic Consent - New Zine by Beata

Consent is a bit like magic - it turns what was previously forbidden into something allowed of even desired! But how can we know that the consent given is valid - real! - consent?
Progressive sexpositive education at times outlines the parameters of good valid consent by using the acronym...

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Calling A Sex-Positive Community, Group or Event a "Family" - And Why It Is A Red Flag - New Zine by Beata
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Calling A Sex-Positive Community, Group or Event a "Family" - And Why It Is A Red Flag - New Zine by Beata

In the many years we have been visiting or a part of different sex-positive scenes there has been a common word that made our whole bodies cringe and feel alarmed. It's family. Fa-mi-ly. It's supposed to sound nice, no? It gives a comforting sense of community. It's just a harmless way to sprinkle good vibes. To generate camaraderie. To let you know: You are welcome! You are a part of us! Gooblegubble One of us!...

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How can you actually play in so-called sex-positive spaces and is it actually about sex or not actually about something else, but what do you call it?
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

How can you actually play in so-called sex-positive spaces and is it actually about sex or not actually about something else, but what do you call it?

While walking with a friend, we talk about my perception and experience of the so-called sex-positive spaces - out of her open curiosity, as she has not yet experienced these spaces first-hand. I start by describing a bit of the 'infrastructure': how it all started for me in the first place, how I first stumbled into a workshop by chance at a dance school where ropes and floggers were also used, how I then met Schwelle7 and Matís, whom I told about writing my master's thesis on Shibari and who then recruited me as an assistant for a bondage course in no time at all. Finally, the more difficult part, trying to describe what interests me about the rooms in the first place. I mention the classics that many people in the "scene" report about. How liberating it is to let people...

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Video interview by the Goethe-Institut China with Beata on "Pornography & Society"
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Video interview by the Goethe-Institut China with Beata on "Pornography & Society"

What materials can be used to trace the elusive nature of sexuality? How are our bodies and their desires entangled in power relations - how to deal with them? Alone or with others? Publicly or privately? By emphasizing the beautiful or the difficult sides? With play or seriousness? Being sweet or being angry? Do you even have to decide - and why is it always so much about deciding "This is good and this is bad!" when it comes to sexual matters? Silvan Hagenbrock, online editor of the Goethe-Institut China, spoke to Beata about her work and vision for the issue of the online magazine "yì" focusing on "Pornography and Society".
Watch the video here.

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Sexmoralism - Compulsory Sex - Sexpositivity - Sexnegativity
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Sexmoralism - Compulsory Sex - Sexpositivity - Sexnegativity

I would like to take up the cudgels for sex negativity. Why?
1) Despite all the fantastic things that are made possible under the label "sex-positive", there are also some weak points, stumbling blocks, traps and misunderstandings. These go hand in hand with an uncritical understanding of sex positivity when a too one-sided diagnosis of the problem is made: that sex is primarily repressed and taboo.
2) I would like to propose a very specific understanding of sex negativity that cannot be confused with a kind of ecclesiastical-conservative or political-right sexophobia.
3) In general, I want to abandon binary divisions and make it clear that sex-negativity and sex-positivity do not have to be two opponents, but rather as two progressive strategies that both could pull together from opposite directions in order to achieve a huge victory together.

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