“What is sex?” we asked during a discussion session at Xplore. Anna Natt and Matís invited us to break down this impossible question into more specific parts: “How do you use the word ‘sex’?”, “How do you have sex?”, and “How do you know you’ve had sex?” One participant explained that he was attending this discussion group because he thought it was a good idea to hear, at a sex-positive event, what “sex” actually means to the participants here. Community = shared language. Makes sense. But after the first round, it becomes clear that “sex” means something different to everyone. And yet it would be too easy to stop at private language and pseudo-enlightened platitudes like “Everyone sees it differently, everyone is right, no one is right. Namaste.” Surely we can find good arguments for common ground to agree on convincing definitions. The answers to the questions vary between references to specific…