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Deguiltification - Experiential Essay By Chris Ifso
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Deguiltification - Experiential Essay By Chris Ifso

Beata and Matís run luhmen d'arc, a company founded in Berlin which creates "spaces dedicated to the manifold aspects of intimacy and desire." In September 2019 the duo were participants in Schmiede, a 10-day maker festival based at the Old Salt Works, Hallein in Austria, involving over 100 artists, musicians, digital creators and writers - including me. Beata is also an academic; her PhD topic is The Art of Sex Education: Contemporary Aesthetics As Idiosyncratic Interventions in Hegemonic Sexual Discourses. As research for this, luhmen d'arc was there to interview a range of participants about attitudes to sexuality. Interviewees were also offered an introductory bodywork session. A mattress sits in one corner of this large barn-like wooden studio, behind a flimsy curtain hung on a rope between pillars. I take off my shoes, lie face down and close my eyes. Beata and Matís proceed to give me a massage which is by turns tender, arousing, rough, funny and relaxing. I am fully-clothed and they are mild, but crucially there is no rule against getting turned on. To prove this, around the space are scattered vibrators, rope and masks for those who request to experiment further. I purr, laugh, wriggle and groan as I'm cradled, gently pummelled and stroked. I open my eyes, they switch on the tape recorder and ask me what the session brought up for me. There I am, a man aged 63, relaxed and glowing, lolling next to a young man and woman I like and trust, with whom there is no reason whatever to feel inhibited. I am among friendly strangers...

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Forensic Sexualities. Some thoughts on shame
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Forensic Sexualities. Some thoughts on shame

Research question: To what extent is sexuality not simply a means of gaining or increasing pleasure, but a catalyst, a medium with which something that is inside our bodies is processed? I came up with this question after a conversation with friends about shame. The general consensus is that shame is a bad thing and has to go so that we can finally be liberated. Although I don't think this is entirely wrong, something inside me resists. It seems too simple to me - and if it were so simple, why haven't we got rid of shame long ago? It also resists because I am afraid of the short-circuit reaction of simply suppressing the shame and pretending not to be ashamed. And as we all know, everything that has been repressed comes back at some point, finds its cracks and niches to creep back to the surface. It can't simply be pushed away, it has to be dealt with. On top of that, I fear that people will start to feel ashamed of being ashamed or that shame-shaming will occur. Last but not least, there are a lot of very unpleasant contemporaries who behave shamelessly and who make you wish your superego was stronger...

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