We are pleased to have received permission to publish this text by our friend Anna Mense, which first appeared in the *Journal of Positive Sexuality*. Abstract: To explain suffering in contemporary romantic relationships, Eva Illouz (2012) examines the consequences of the separation of erotic and romantic encounters from committed relationships such as marriage. While this separation is often hailed as a triumph of free choice and liberal love, Illouz argues that it creates systemic inequalities between male and female agents. The article uses Illouz’s analysis as a starting point and basis for studying deregulated sex-positive spaces with regard to their risk of unintentionally reproducing features of sociopolitical domination. The discussion is driven by an interest in the question of how opportunities to explore sexual and romantic relationships can be developed without reproducing the systemic disadvantages of heteronormative culture.