THE PILLOW BLOG

 

Calling a Sex-Positive Community, Group, or Event a “Family” – And Why It’s a Red Flag – New Zine by Beata
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Calling a Sex-Positive Community, Group, or Event a “Family” – And Why It’s a Red Flag – New Zine by Beata

Over the many years we’ve been visiting or participating in various sex-positive communities, there’s been one word that makes our whole bodies cringe and feel alarmed. It’s “family.” Fa-mi-ly. It’s supposed to sound nice, right? It gives a comforting sense of community. It’s just a harmless way to spread good vibes. To foster camaraderie. To let you know: You’re welcome! You’re one of us! Gooblegubble One of us!…

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Cookie Consent
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Cookie Consent

Hey everyone! We’re all working hard to foster a culture of consent by reminding ourselves—in workshops and beyond—that we shouldn’t take physical affection for granted; that we shouldn’t just assume what the other person wants; that we should respect personal boundaries and support one another in discovering, through self-determination and collaborative processes, what naughty things we’d like to get up to together; that we can truly let go and surrender especially when we create safe spaces of trust; that a “no” isn’t a drama but a valuable guide for navigating the love zone, and so on and so forth. This is all a massive project—indeed, a humanistic educational project, if you will—because there is much more at stake here than merely securing oneself legally, contractually speaking, when becoming intimate with someone in order to arm oneself against accusations of assault. Rather, this is about deconstructing paternalistic structures and forging new relationships with oneself and the world! It’s about learning to respect oneself, to respect others…

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