THE PILLOW BLOG

 

How exactly do you even play in so-called sex-positive spaces, and is it really just about sex, or is it actually about something else too—but what do you call that?
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

How exactly do you even play in so-called sex-positive spaces, and is it really just about sex, or is it actually about something else too—but what do you call that?

While walking with a friend, we talk about my perception and experience of the so-called sex-positive spaces - out of her open curiosity, as she has not yet experienced these spaces first-hand. I start by describing a bit of the 'infrastructure': how it all started for me in the first place, how I first stumbled into a workshop by chance at a dance school where ropes and floggers were also used, how I then met Schwelle7 and Matís, whom I told about writing my master's thesis on Shibari and who then recruited me as an assistant for a bondage course in no time at all. Finally, the more difficult part, trying to describe what interests me about the rooms in the first place. I mention the classics that many people in the "scene" report about. How liberating it is to let people...

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Sexual moralism – Compulsory sex – Sex positivity – Sex negativity
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Sexual moralism – Compulsory sex – Sex positivity – Sex negativity

I’d like to take a stand in defense of sex negativity. Why?
1) For all the wonderful things that the “sex-positive” label makes possible, it also comes with some weaknesses, stumbling blocks, pitfalls, and misunderstandings. These go hand in hand with an uncritical understanding of sex-positivity, when a one-sided diagnosis of the problem is made: that sex is primarily suppressed and tabooed.
2) I would like to propose a very specific understanding of sex-negativity that cannot be confused with either a church-conservative or politically right-wing hostility toward sex.
3) In general, I would like to move away from binary divisions and make it clear that sex negativity and sex positivity do not have to be two opposing forces, but rather could be two progressive strategies—each from opposite directions—pulling together to jointly create a huge…

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Beyond 'sex-positive' and 'sex-negative'
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Beyond 'sex-positive' and 'sex-negative'

What are your thoughts on “sex positivity”? Just the term itself, for now!
When I first heard the term, I couldn’t reconcile the fact that such a sensual and dazzling realm was described using such a cold and mathematical expression—one whose sound reminded me of the phrasing of unpleasant medical diagnoses. Or I was reminded of the pejorative accusations of positivism I’m familiar with from scientific contexts, where the blind spots are highlighted that arise when, in exploring a topic, one limits oneself one-dimensionally to the accumulation and piling up of facts, even though there is also an abundance of knowledge that cannot be reduced to facts, that cannot be clearly answered with “yes” or “no.” In these initial associations with “positivity,” the term is not initially judgmental, but merely denotes a factual “something is there,” “something is above zero.” Of course, “sex positivity” does not merely wish to emphasize that there is simply sex…

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