THE PILLOW BLOG

 

Cookie Consent
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Cookie Consent

Hey everyone! We’re all working hard to foster a culture of consent by reminding ourselves—in workshops and beyond—that we shouldn’t take physical affection for granted; that we shouldn’t just assume what the other person wants; that we should respect personal boundaries and support one another in discovering, through self-determination and collaborative processes, what naughty things we’d like to get up to together; that we can truly let go and surrender especially when we create safe spaces of trust; that a “no” isn’t a drama but a valuable guide for navigating the love zone, and so on and so forth. This is all a massive project—indeed, a humanistic educational project, if you will—because there is much more at stake here than merely securing oneself legally, contractually speaking, when becoming intimate with someone in order to arm oneself against accusations of assault. Rather, this is about deconstructing paternalistic structures and forging new relationships with oneself and the world! It’s about learning to respect oneself, to respect others…

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Sex /vs./&/?/ Violence. An Attempt at Conceptual Delimitation Through Distinction
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Sex /vs./&/?/ Violence. An Attempt at Conceptual Delimitation Through Distinction

“What is sex?” we asked during a discussion session at Xplore. Anna Natt and Matís invited us to break down this impossible question into more specific parts: “How do you use the word sex?”, “How do you have sex?”, and “How do you know you’ve had sex?” One participant explained that he was attending this discussion group because he thought it was a good idea to hear, at a sex-positive event, what “sex” actually means to the participants here. Community = shared language. Makes sense. But after the first round, it becomes clear that “sex” means something different to everyone. And yet it would be too easy to stop at private language and pseudo-enlightened “Everyone sees it differently, everyone is right, no one is right. Namaste.” Surely we can find good arguments for common ground to agree on convincing conceptual boundaries. The answers to the questions vary between references to specific…

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