THE PILLOW BLOG

 

Cookie Consent
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Cookie Consent

Guys! We are all working diligently on a culture of consent by reminding each other in workshops and beyond that we don't take physical affection for granted; that we don't just assume anything about what the other person wants; that we respect personal boundaries and support each other in finding out, in a self-determined and collaborative process, what we want to do naughty things together; that we can move into surrender above all when we create safe spaces of trust; that a "no" is not a drama but a valuable hint for navigating the love zone and so on. This is all a huge project, a humanistic education project if you will, because there is much more at stake here than simply securing yourself in a legal contract-like manner when you become intimate together in order to arm yourself against accusations of assault. This is much more about deconstructing paternalistic structures, about new self and world relations! It's about learning to respect each other, to respect others and...

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Sex /vs./&/?/ Violence. Attempt at a conceptual delimitation on the basis of demarcation
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Sex /vs./&/?/ Violence. Attempt at a conceptual delimitation on the basis of demarcation

"What is sex?" we asked in a discussion round during Xplore. Anna Natt and Matís invited us to break down this impossible question: "How do you use the word sex?", "How do you do sex?" and "How do you know you had sex?" One participant explained that he was attending this discussion group because he thought it would be a good idea to hear what "sex" means to the participants at a sex-positive event. Community = shared language. Makes sense. But after the first round, it becomes clear that "sex" means something different to everyone. And yet it would be too easy to stop at private language and pseudo-enlightened "Everyone sees it differently, everyone is right, no one is right. Namaste." Surely we can find good arguments for common denominators in order to agree on convincing conceptual limitations. The answers to the questions vary between references to certain...

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