THE PILLOW BLOG

 

Calling A Sex-Positive Community, Group or Event a "Family" - And Why It Is A Red Flag - New Zine by Beata
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

Calling A Sex-Positive Community, Group or Event a "Family" - And Why It Is A Red Flag - New Zine by Beata

In the many years we have been visiting or a part of different sex-positive scenes there has been a common word that made our whole bodies cringe and feel alarmed. It's family. Fa-mi-ly. It's supposed to sound nice, no? It gives a comforting sense of community. It's just a harmless way to sprinkle good vibes. To generate camaraderie. To let you know: You are welcome! You are a part of us! Gooblegubble One of us!...

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How can you actually play in so-called sex-positive spaces and is it actually about sex or not actually about something else, but what do you call it?
Beata Absalon Beata Absalon

How can you actually play in so-called sex-positive spaces and is it actually about sex or not actually about something else, but what do you call it?

While walking with a friend, we talk about my perception and experience of the so-called sex-positive spaces - out of her open curiosity, as she has not yet experienced these spaces first-hand. I start by describing a bit of the 'infrastructure': how it all started for me in the first place, how I first stumbled into a workshop by chance at a dance school where ropes and floggers were also used, how I then met Schwelle7 and Matís, whom I told about writing my master's thesis on Shibari and who then recruited me as an assistant for a bondage course in no time at all. Finally, the more difficult part, trying to describe what interests me about the rooms in the first place. I mention the classics that many people in the "scene" report about. How liberating it is to let people...

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