THE PILLOW BLOG

 

Calling a Sex-Positive Community, Group, or Event a “Family” – And Why It’s a Red Flag – New Zine by Beata
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

Calling a Sex-Positive Community, Group, or Event a “Family” – And Why It’s a Red Flag – New Zine by Beata

Over the many years we’ve been visiting or participating in various sex-positive communities, there’s been one word that makes our whole bodies cringe and feel alarmed. It’s “family.” Fa-mi-ly. It’s supposed to sound nice, right? It gives a comforting sense of community. It’s just a harmless way to spread good vibes. To foster camaraderie. To let you know: You’re welcome! You’re one of us! Gooblegubble One of us!…

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How exactly do you even play in so-called sex-positive spaces, and is it really just about sex, or is it actually about something else too—but what do you call that?
Beate Absalon Beate Absalon

How exactly do you even play in so-called sex-positive spaces, and is it really just about sex, or is it actually about something else too—but what do you call that?

While walking with a friend, we talk about my perception and experience of the so-called sex-positive spaces - out of her open curiosity, as she has not yet experienced these spaces first-hand. I start by describing a bit of the 'infrastructure': how it all started for me in the first place, how I first stumbled into a workshop by chance at a dance school where ropes and floggers were also used, how I then met Schwelle7 and Matís, whom I told about writing my master's thesis on Shibari and who then recruited me as an assistant for a bondage course in no time at all. Finally, the more difficult part, trying to describe what interests me about the rooms in the first place. I mention the classics that many people in the "scene" report about. How liberating it is to let people...

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