A mixed bag, please! Definition difficulties

Difficulties in understanding. When people talk about their wildest love affairs in friendly conviviality and then the extra hint is dropped: "...and then we also had sex". Oops, and what was the other thing you did together? It's actually a classic: where does sexuality begin and where does it end? Generally, the term refers exclusively to the penetrative act. This is particularly surprising when the people you're talking to are people who otherwise celebrate sexuality in all its diversity and engage in various experiments, techniques, games and pleasures that go beyond the heteronormative compulsory matrix...