Forensic Sexualities: Some Thoughts on Shame

Research question: To what extent is sexuality not simply a means of obtaining or increasing pleasure, but rather a catalyst, a medium through which we process something that lies within our bodies? This question came to me after a conversation with friends about shame. The prevailing view is that shame is something bad and must be eliminated so that we can finally be free. Although I don’t think that’s entirely wrong, something inside me resists. It seems too simplistic to me—and if it were that simple, why haven’t we gotten rid of shame long ago? It resists also because I’m afraid of the knee-jerk reaction of simply repressing shame and pretending not to feel it. And as we know, everything that’s repressed eventually comes back, finding its cracks and crevices to crawl back to the surface. It can’t simply be pushed aside; it has to be worked through. On top of that, I fear that people might start feeling ashamed of feeling ashamed, or that it could lead to “shame-shaming.” Last but not least, there’s a whole bunch of very unpleasant people who behave shamelessly, and you’d wish their superego were stronger…